The postman always rings twice, or thrice, or four times, or five...
I get a lot of mail. I get the usual things: bills, catalogs, invites, cards, credit card offers, charity solicitations, etc. But by far my favorite type of mail has to be the loan consolidation solicitation. I get multiple pieces of mail every week from lenders who want to consolidate my loans, who want me to know that they can save me money, who want to advise me about rising interest rates, who just want to help me, really. I always read them before throwing them away. I always want to know what totally inflated offer of help they purport to give me this time.
My favorites are the ones that come with promises of cash. PCFS would like to give me a $300 MasterCard gift card to show their "appreciation for your testimonial about our free service." Call them up, and find out that the free service is student loan consolidation, and oh so sorry, I'm not eligible. Collegiate Solutions would like to give me $300 cash back on my first loan payment once I consolidate with them. Erie Processing Corporation would like to reward me with a $400 gift card on my student loan consolidation. And Xanthus Financial Services tells me I've been selected to receive a "federal student loan rebate in an amount up to $2,000." Oh really? Since when do the feds offer rebates on student loans? Since never.
My all time favorites, however, have to be the offers that come through every so often from my own personal demon lender: Sallie Mae. They say I could save hundreds, even thousands, by consolidating with them! Amazing how they don't check their own loan files to determine that they're already sucking me dry on loans that were consolidated with them and aren't eligible for refinancing (and their lobbyists are making sure it stays that way). Kind of makes you wonder if they're just pouring salt in my student loan wounds because they can.